Love and alone

Jan 27

10:36

so here it is…i couldnt just write about something as pointless as love..so i decided to try a something and to write about this…

the sounds of the leather hitting my body is to this day a sound unique and a sound i cant describe to this day.the cold concrete under my hands and knees as i strain against the blows,kicks and leather belt raining down on me was a sraight up bitch… but i will not give in… i will not break… i can feel her eyes on me and begging me to fall to give in,but if i do she’ll be next so i dig in.i do all of this and accwept all of this out of LOVE.ironically later i’ll be told that all that has happened and all that i took was also out of LOVE.as time goes on i feel the weaken of the blows and also the weaken state of how the belt is stinging my flesh…when i’m ask..”WHY”,..”WHY GO THROUGH ALL THIS?”.. i could of been smart and gave him the answer he wanted….but i gave him the answer i wanted..”SHE’S MY FRIEND MY ONLY FRIEND AND I LOVE HER MORE THAN I HATE YOU” i knew by doing that and saying that was going to make my life a whole lot worse to live and hers a whole lot better because she wont be the target anymore i will be…little did i know that she’s be taken away from me soon after all of this… this was my first experience with love and my first memory of it…i may not have a famil;y i may not be poor and i will die alone but this is something that can never be taken away from me…also it ties into the film…the part when we went to 792 medly in cfb cold lake and i went downstairs to the basement…see i couldnt write about love so i wrote about this that ties into film…its what was going through my mind when we went there…i just didnt say basement concrete floor cause i believe people should figure that out for themselves…

10:48

ALONE: “no man is an island” well those so called experts and know it alls havent been truely alone… -to be alone even before you’ve been born means that even in a stadium full of people you’ll still be alone. -when you’ve been beat down,run down and put down ansd never had anyone support you or help you up than you’ll know alone..but also you’ll know strength. -when all is lost and your back is against the wall and defeat is near…you’ll know alone…but you’ll also know freedom and victory.. -when your forced to face death,your fears,and the truth about yourself .you”ll knw alone but you’ll also know faith and belief in yourself. the easiest thing to do in life is to die alone..the hardest thing to do in life is to live alone…but it comes with its own benefits if you dont focus on the worse of being alone…..